It’s been strange living without a telephone for over a week. We moved last Monday and in all of the confusion and hassle that goes along with such a switch, the phone has yet to be turned on. I’m hoping that little snafu will be corrected today, and then, I’m going to have a lot to catch up on.
It wouldn’t be so bad living without a phone, I mean I still have my work phone and my cell, but in our current rural location, there is no possible chance of getting a cell phone signal and since the nearest neighbor still wouldn’t be able to hear my screams if I were attacked by a crazed maniac in the middle of the night, having a phone is like having a warm and fuzzy security blanket. It also helps that I sleep with a hammer under my pillow. My co-workers find this amusing, and Jill has told me countless times that one day I’m going to be woken up by a hammer blow to the face and the sound of my one-year-old giggling, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take.
It’s not like when I do have a phone I’m on it constantly, but with four sisters who call on a daily basis and a best friend whose wedding is only nine days away, I would say that my phone might ring more than most.
I can only imagine the kinds of calls I’ve missed already. I know that I’ve probably missed countless calls from my oldest sister, the worrier. She gets stressed out from time to time and it’s up to me to talk her down. (I once considered publishing a book on the topic titled “My Sister, My Patient,” since I’m always offering her psychological advice, but that would be cheapening our relationship, besides chapter one needs to be reworked before then.)
I’m sure I’ve missed calls from my second sister, the joker. She calls me on a regular basis to tell me about all of the funny stuff that happens to her at home and while running errands and at work. (I never knew so much funny stuff could happen at a hospital. They just don’t show that on ER.)
And of course I’m sure my two younger sisters have called too. I’m always helping them to solve their problems, ‘cause they’re the babies. So when sister three calls and tells me she punched a guy last weekend at sister four’s wedding, and sister four calls to tell me how mad she is at sister three, I calm everyone down and defuse the situation. (The guy was being a jerk.)
So when my phone is turned on today, I’m probably going to have a lot of catching up to do. On second thought, maybe I should stick with the hammer under the pillow, and save myself the frustration.