This weekend’s 11th annual Chenango County Relay for Life is sure to draw many families, as young and old come out to support the cancer awareness walk. But even with the hundreds that are usually in attendance, it would be hard to find three generations of women who’ve had cancer and come through the ordeal stronger than ever.
When Doris Miller was diagnosed with cancer in 1965, she stayed positive, even though she had seen her mother succumb to the same disease, and that she says helped her to achieve the status she has today as a 42-year survivor.
Doris went to her family doctor and explained some of her symptoms. She was rapidly referred to another doctor, who suggested a biopsy, and her uterine cancer was discovered. “There was a mention of radiation therapy, but I was afraid,” Doris remembered. She opted for surgery, and the cancer was removed.
Doris explained that her children were in junior high and high school at the time, and she stayed positive for them.
“They were smart about the whole thing. They both took care of me,” she said of her children and her husband. “The three of them were my support system.”
Doris said there was only one time when she ever let the negative possibilities enter her mind. She and her husband discussed what would happen to the children if the cancer returned.
“That was the only time we talked about it. I just had a feeling that I was going to be all right,” she said. The positive attitude seemed to work for Doris. She began going to the doctor every three months for follow-ups, and eventually there was more time between visits.
Twenty years later, cancer would again strike the family, this time targeting Doris’ daughter, Susan Blackman. Susan had been concerned about a lump she found in her breast, but after undergoing a mammogram she was assured it was just a calcium deposit. Seven months after the exam, Susan was on vacation, and she said things just didn’t feel right.
“I knew something was wrong. It just wasn’t normal,” Susan explained. She decided to go back to the doctor, and after another mammogram and an ultrasound, she was immediately sent to have a biopsy.
“Friday I had the needle biopsy done. They called Saturday to tell me I had cancer. It was all I could do to keep from throwing up,” Susan said. Once the cancer was detected, the doctors moved quickly. The following Thursday a bone scan was performed, and the next day she had a mastectomy. Less than a month later, Susan started a year of chemo-therapy, going 14 days on and then 14 days off.
“I just kept telling Susan she would be all right,” Doris said. “I couldn’t imagine anything happening to one of my girls.”
Susan says she was blessed to have friends in the medical field who helped her during her treatment and through the recovery.
The family was again struck by cancer nearly 17 years later, when Susan’s daughter Julia Whitney was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 31. Like her mother before her, Julia found a lump in her breast and went to the doctor for a mammogram. The mammogram was negative, but Julia said she knew something was wrong. The doctors told her she should wait a month and see what happened, but because of what her mother had gone through, she pushed the issue.
“I wanted to know what was going on. I pushed and they pursued it and found I had an aggressive tumor that was spreading. If I had waited a month, I don’t know what would have happened,” Julia said.
Julia had a double mastectomy and underwent four months of intensive, aggressive chemo-therapy.
“I knew deep down that I was going to be OK. In 17 years, cancer treatment had come a long way,” Julia said. “On the other hand, I tried not to listen to a lot of what my mother and grandmother had been through, because everybody is different and everybody’s treatment is different.”
Susan explained that when she found out about Julia’s diagnosis, she again wanted to throw up. “I didn’t want my child to have to deal with anything,” Susan said. At the time Julia was diagnosed, she was a single mother to an eight year old child. While she was undergoing chemo-therapy, her son became her care taker.
“If my mother (Doris) is the strongest person I know, my daughter (Julia) is the bravest,” said Susan. “I still can’t go to the doctor for a blood test without somebody holding my hand. She did it all by herself.” While Susan thought her daughter was alone, Julia explains she didn’t feel like she was going through her treatment by herself. “I had friends and family by my side. They were my support system,” Julia said.
Three and a half years later, Julia, Susan and Doris are all still cancer free. All three woman advocate knowing your own body and going to the doctor at the first sign of trouble.
“The main thing is to go to the doctor. No matter what you think it might be, go find out,” Doris said when asked what her advise to other women would be.
Susan agreed. “The rule of thumb in my house is if something is bothering you for more than a week, go to the doctor,” she said. Susan credits a comfortable relationship with her doctor, a positive attitude and faith as important factors that helped her overcome her cancer.
Because of what she went through, Julia preaches knowing your body and being pushy if you think something is wrong. “You know when something is wrong. It’s an unmistakable feeling,” Julia said. Susan agreed saying, “nobody knows your body as well as you do.”
Despite everything the women have been through, they say dealing with cancer was a life changing event, and if given the chance, they wouldn’t want to change that. “Having cancer made me teach my children how to take care of themselves,” Doris explained.
Susan explained that going through what she did gave her stronger religious faith and stronger relationships with her family and friends. “There was so much I took for granted before that,” said Susan. “On the whole I feel better about myself now.”
Julia also found the difficult experience to ultimately be beneficial. “It makes you realize what’s important. Through the experience, there was a lot of turmoil, but eventually it brought everybody closer together.” Julia said the relationship she developed with her son is stronger because of what they’ve been through. “Going into his high school years, we have a good relationship. We built that, and it’s made him very compassionate towards others. I think he takes less for granted too,” she said.
All three women will be taking part in the Chenango County Relay for Life this weekend at the county fairgrounds in Norwich. The three women, who have been named this year’s story of inspiration, are trying to spread a message of hope and strength. “The thing I learned from my mother is that no matter what life hands you, you can deal with it,” Susan said. Sons of Ireland will begin playing at 4 p.m. Friday afternoon to kick off the weekend event. Opening ceremonies will be held at 6, the band Skyline, featuring Cassidy Lynn will perform at 7. The cancer awareness walk will continue throughout the night, ending at 10 a.m. Saturday morning.
For more information about the Chenango County Relay for Life, or to make a donation, visit the web site at www.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=205738 or contact Julia Whitney at Julia48cny@yahoo.com.