Editor’s Note: Chenango County’s favorite best-selling author Maggie Shayne has joined the ranks of Evening Sun contributors with an advice column that’s just a tad different than ‘Dear Abby.’
Whether it’s relationshipguidance, tips on modern romance or just throwing her two cents in, Maggie’s got an answer for everything in “Shayne on You.”

Dear Maggie,
After five years my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I was so excited I started planning the wedding two months after the proposal. Everything is in order, although some people aren’t doing what I hoped. The woman performing the ceremony hasn’t given me the information I need, the last minute plans are stressing me, and though I want my fiancé to have a say in the plans, to date he has made only one decision; that ACDC’s Highway to Hell will be our wedding song. I’m not the love-song type, but for a wedding!? Maybe we should just elope. Should I ask him to change it, or just be happy we are getting married at all?
Stressed Out Bride-to-be

Dear Bride-to-Be,
“The Woman” performing your ceremony got off her duff and sent you the info, so there’s one problem solved. She’s done a lot of weddings now, and she promises it’ll all go beautifully. ?
Now, about that song. I’ve heard some grooms say that in order to get out of making decisions about their wedding, they make one really bad choice, and as a result, the bride doesn’t ask them to decide on anything else. Do you think that could be the case here?
Here’s an idea. Suggest that you have the DJ play Highway to Hell when the groom and groomsmen are introduced at the beginning of the reception. Tell him it would be very bad luck to have it as a wedding song, and offer him some other suggestions. (A good note for brides. Don’t ask the guy to choose anything unless you first give him a list of acceptable choices. That way you can’t go wrong.)
Mostly, remember that the song and the details of the event aren’t what matters. It’s the emotions, the joy of the day, and the fact that it represents a new beginning for both of you. Fill the planning and the event with joy and joy will follow. Ditch the stress. All is well.
Maggie

Dear Maggie,
My husband cheated on me last year and got another girl pregnant. I have forgiven him only because he’d been drinking and beer gets him randy. She kept trying to steal him, but he told her no way because she was missing a few teeth and my false ones are perfect. Anyway, when she began showing, she took him to court and demanded support. He began making payments from his monthly disability check. (His leg was chopped off by a wood splitter and he uses a scooter to get around now.)
Two weeks ago she came complaining that the baby needed diapers, so he gave her $20 of my money so the baby would have a dry bottom. Later, we drove past a fast food joint and saw her scarfing down a super-sized meal.
My question is, do you think we can sue the wood splitter company for my husband’s injury? The way his baby’s mother eats, it appears we are going to be shelling out money for the rest of our lives.
Not Rich

Dear Not Rich,
Though I’m betting this letter was someone’s idea of a joke, I’m going to reply as if it’s for real, just in case ...
That’s your question? Whether to sue the wood splitter company? Really?
Your husband drinks, cheats, doesn’t use protection, and then chooses you over the other woman because your teeth are better than hers, and that’s your question?
Okay. I’m personally against lawsuits, because focusing your attention on something so negative will inevitably bring a whole lot more of the same into your life. But the best move would be to consult a lawyer about the merits of your case.
And yes, you are going to be shelling out money for a while, or he is anyway. Not because the baby’s mom enjoys fast food, (how could you tell it was a super size meal just by driving by, I wonder) but because your husband has a child to support, and it’s his responsibility to do so. The baby is an innocent and deserves support, time, love, and attention from both parents.
For you, I suggest you re-focus your attention on your relationship with this man. Because you are asking the wrong questions, and it gives me the feeling that you’re blaming any problems you may have on outside things, like this other woman, the baby, the beer, the injury, the wood splitter, etc. So ask yourself things like these; How does being with him make you feel? Are you happy? Do you feel loved? Do you feel satisfied with your life? Do you trust him not to cheat again? Has he stopped drinking? Are you doing the best thing for you? Because really, we can’t control other people, or choose their paths for them. But we can direct our own steps to the most joyous possible place, by trusting our emotions to guide us. Seek your own bliss. He did.
Maggie

Do you have a question for Maggie?
E-mail her at mshayne@evesun.com.
And she’ll answer it in a future column!
(All letters are anonymous)