Dear Maggie,

My seventy-four-year-old mom is dying of ovarian cancer that has spread to other organs. The doctors have given her three or four months to live. She doesn’t seem to be in unbearable pain yet, but she’s lost her appetite and refuses to eat. Now her doctor wants to do a surgery to remove several feet of her intestine, where the cancer has spread. She’ll need to wear a colostomy bag. The surgery will give her a bit more time, maybe a few more months. She is looking to me to make this decision for her, and I don’t know what to do. Please give me your thoughts.

Signed,

Desperate Daughter

Dear DD,

I’m so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I’ve been through it too, so I know how hard it is.