OXFORD – Most people would never consider becoming a funeral director, but Steve Behe isn’t like most people. The son of a funeral director, Behe says he never seriously considered anything but following in his father’s footsteps.
On Oct. 1, the Oxford man celebrated his 40th anniversary as funeral director of Behe’s Funeral Home, the business which has borne his family name for nearly five decades.
“I grew up riding with my dad,” said Behe, who was in seventh grade when his family moved to Oxford in 1960, after his father, Judson Behe, purchased the State Street business from its previous owner, Lynn Seymour.
Behe still transacts business while sitting at the same small desk that Seymour used all those years ago.
While Behe is the first to admit that most people would eschew his chosen profession, he takes great pride in what he does. Particularly in the knowledge that he provides some measure of comfort to people struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one.
“That’s why I do what I do,” he explained.
In his four decades in the community, Behe has developed something of a reputation. And it is a reputation that has endeared him to many of those who have had need of his services.
You won’t find dark draperies or wall coverings at Behe’s, but rather plenty of natural light and walls richly papered in soft tones. For evening calling hours, the lights are turned up. Rather than traditional black hearses, the Oxford funeral home has signature cars in silvery gray. And until recently, Behe said, he didn’t even own a black suit.
The difference isn’t just a matter of aesthetics, but the warmth and comfort of Behe’s own personality showing through. He greets most callers himself, often with a story or joke of the day to ease the tension.
“I think I make a hard time easier for people,” Behe said.
The best complement he has ever received, he explained, was from a local woman after her mother passed away. After they had finished making the arrangements for her mother’s service, she told him that he was the only funeral director that put the world “fun” in funeral.
That’s not to say that anything about Behe or his funeral home is irreverent; on the contrary, all who pass through its doors are treated with dignity and respect.
Even though Behe’s children do not have an interest in following him in his line of work, it is still a family affair. His wife, Sherry, assists him whenever the demands of her own job, as Oxford’s village clerk, allow. Even Maggie, the Behe family’s Dalmatian, is often at his side, providing her own type of comfort to grieving visitors.
Behe is filled with stories of those he has laid to rest, special requests which may seem strange to some but have meant the world to the family of the deceased, and the strange assortment of items he has seen buried with loved ones and dear friends.
He has also delighted in collecting the history of the house, which was constructed as a private residence in 1846. At one point, as evidenced by old photographs he has uncovered, the home also had a floating boat house in the Chenango River.
“There is a lot of history in this house,” Behe said, pulling out another photograph of the property dating back to 1937, when the property was acquired by the Seymours and converted into a funeral home. Prior to that, he explained, they had operated the business, a “furniture and home decorations” establishment with “undertaking a specialty,” out of a storefront in the Navy Island Block.
It is not just the history of Oxford which Behe has embraced, but the community itself. Over the years he has been active in many community organizations. His many involvements have included the Oxford Lions Club, the Oxford Emergency Squad and the Oxford Volunteer Fire Department, where he served as chief. He has also volunteered for many years during the Clyde Cole Wrestling Tournament, and served on both the town board and the Oxford Industrial Development Corporation (OIDC) board. In addition, he is both a Mason and a Shriner.
His actions have not gone un-noticed by his fellow community leaders, who hold him in high esteem.
“(Steve) has been a long time asset to the Village of Oxford and the village appreciates his contributions to the community both as a business owner and as a good citizen,” said Mayor Terry Stark.
There is one accomplishment for which Behe is perhaps most proud. For all his commitment to his profession, there are some events that even Behe struggles with personally, particularly when it involves the death of a child or young adult. To help others in the community deal with these terrible losses, he worked with administrators and educators to create a Death Crisis Action Plan for the Oxford Academy and Central School District.
“We were the first, now all the schools have them,” Behe said, of the plan which has now been in place at Oxford for 20 years.
After 40 years in the business, Behe has no intentions of calling it quits anytime soon.
“When I started, I said I’d work until 65,” he said. But now that his anticipated retirement age is encroaching - he turns 62 this month - he’s not so sure he’s ready to bid farewell to his lifelong profession.
For now, he will content himself with planning for the Behe’s Funeral Home’s next major milestone. In January of 2010, the business will celebrate its 50th year.