Less than two weeks until Christmas and I’ll bet you can guess how much shopping I’ve done, which is – as always – little to none, with an emphasis on the none. Not to worry, though, because I’m fairly proficient at the whole “wait until the last minute” thing, due (at least partially) to the fact that my entire existence, as far as The Evening Sun is concerned, revolves around the almighty deadline. Granted, there’s a substantial amount of preparation and research involved with any story, yet I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there are days when I – or any reporter for that matter – walk into the newsroom wondering what in God’s name I’m going to write about for that day’s edition.
Do I procrastinate? On occasion. Is it simply laziness? From time to time, sure, everybody has their off days. Should I know better? Well, that depends on what we’re discussing. As far as the newsroom goes, there’s simply no way to guarantee when, exactly, whatever story I might be working on will see the light of day; and every reporter rolls snake eyes once in awhile. As for Christmas ... yes, I procrastinate and am, at times, lazy. And yes, I should know better by now, considering this has become a yearly ritual.
One would think I have hordes of people to shop for, the way I’m carrying on, yet that’s hardly the case. A few gifts for my mother, stepfather, grandmother and a few friends and I’m done. Cards for all others and what do you know it’s on to the New Year. Simply put, I try to keep my holiday shopping routine ... well, fairly routine ... and I like it that way. Right now? Well, right now I just wish the shopping (not to mention the wrapping) was said and done.
Again, I only have myself to blame.
I could, of course, take advantage of Black Friday, Cyber Monday or even (gasp!) January through November (otherwise known as the rest of the year) to do my shopping, although I’m certainly not a fan of hitting the stores at some ungodly hour, waiting in line for the doors to open and joining in with the capitalistic stampede that is the morning after Thanksgiving. And I’ve never been a big online shopper, either, despite how relatively easy and convenient it probably is. I suppose you could say I’m a bit old-fashioned that way. I like to peruse the store for that perfect gift; I enjoy wrapping presents, although I’m certainly not very good at it; and I dislike large crowds, which is remarkable considering that’s exactly what I’ll get come Christmas Eve when I finally get around to shopping.
Can anybody say glutton for punishment? Then again, we all know I’m not the only one waiting until the last minute to finish up (err ... begin) my Christmas shopping. And I, for obvious reasons, know this for a fact, due to past experience.
Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s fond of long lines, irritable cashiers (not to mention customers), screaming children and late-night gift wrapping. And while I can do nothing about the long lines and prickliness of my fellow shoppers – or their children – I have found the perfect cure for what would normally be a frustrating night spent wrapping gifts ... it’s called Egg Nog with a splash of the good Captain. And it works. Trust me.
Said former President Dwight D. Eisenhower, “When you are in any contest, you should work as if there were – to the very last minute – a chance to lose it. This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.”
Even Christmas shopping, you ask? Well ... yes, considering every year I wait until the last minute and come awfully close to losing it (my mind, that is) before it’s all said and done.
And then there’s Jon Anderson, who stated, “Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last minute shopping or attaches the name of St. Patrick to the day of the year that bartenders fear most.”
Amen to that.

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