A couple of weeks ago I wrote a piece that had a golfing theme. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I had written a column, and it would appear the following day. That person immediately said: “It’s not another column about golf, is it?” I smiled, “yeah, it is.”
Here comes another one.
I am sure thousands of writers have questioned willing interviewees about golf’s appeal. The answers range from the exercise and the communal relationship with nature, to the socialization and the occasional moments of brilliance. However, as you will read in the following statistics, most of us stink at the game, so why come back for more?
As recently as four years ago, nearly 29 million people in the United States above the age of six played golf. Of those players, the average male handicap is 16, while women check in at about a 29 handicap. What do those numbers mean? The average man barely breaks 90 for 18 holes, and the average woman shoots over 100.
Those statistics clearly prove that most of us struggle with posting good scores, yet that same group of players cannot wait to play their next round. It’s a game where an individual’s success (or lack thereof) does not impede his love of the game.
When my better half, Aida, moved to New York in the summer of 2009, she had barely placed her hands on a golf club other than a putter at a mini-golf course. She knew my interest (love, obsession, passion...and hate) for the game, and that alone piqued her interest. In the first 40-plus years of her life, Aida did not understand why people went nuts over the game. Whacking a dimpled ball around a course and chasing it seemed like a colossal wast of time. Plus, the time – and cost – commitment to play a round a golf did not mesh with her daily routines.
“From what I had observed on TV, I thought golf was the most boring sport on earth,” Aida said. “In high school, I tried it once with my friends. After five minutes of ground-gouging technique with a nine-iron, I came to the conclusion that golf was not only boring, but maddeningly frustrating and silly. I vowed to never give the game another thought.”
Fast forward about 30 years when she moved to Norwich. “We were living at the farmhouse with a big field out back,” she said. “You (this writer) showed me how to hold the club and swing it. I actually hit some balls, and it was kind of fun.”
After some backyard ballstriking in the late summer of 2009, Aida agreed to take up the game the following spring. I had a bunch of older clubs that I had kept over the years, and we pieced together a starter set. The only thing we lacked for her was an appropriate driver, and Dick’s Sporting Goods took care of that issue. After a lifetime of disparaging those who played golf, Aida was about to become one of those she freely mocked. She didn’t enjoy immediate success, but was instantly hooked.
“The first time on an actual course was really hard,” she said. “I played racquet sports and softball where you have to hit a moving target. How could I not hit a stationary object? And not hit it in the desired direction? I found myself wanting to play more. I think it’s the good shots that keep you hooked because you know it’s possible. I love golf. I also hate golf...but I really love it. The challenge is what keeps me coming back and looking forward to the next time.”
Local resident Kevin Rivenburgh recently opened a business, the California Connection, with a golf theme in mind. His Norwich shop offers a growing selection of golf apparel and golf equipment along with many other sporting goods. He forged his business idea not only on offering great deals, but getting his foot in the door in the golf industry.
Rivenburgh, who admitted he is far from a proficient golfer, is still excited every time he has a chance to hit the links. Even if his previous round was a disaster, he knows he is starting fresh, and to him, the built-in socialization and camaraderie of the game separate it from most sports. “I know I’m not everyone’s friend, but on the golf course, you’re kind of everyone’s friend,” Rivenburgh said. “You have your competitive things where you might bust each other’s chops, but you’re all in the same boat. Some guys might be better than me, but I’ve seen those guys suck, too. They just suck a little less.”
Whether you’re a good golfer or a bad one perhaps the greatest truism of all is a player’s willingness – or need – to talk about his round. No matter how mundane the experience, a golfer will drone on and on about the day’s hardships and fleeting moments of brilliance. Friends with the patience of Job nod and express empathy toward their friend. Meanwhile, in the back of the listener’s mind, he is composing his own golfing tale, one to regale his friends – or bore them to tears.
That post-round give and take completes golf’s circle of life.

If you have a golf story or anecdote, please contact Patrick Newell by email at pnewell@evesun.com or call 337-3078. You can follow Newell on Twitter @evesunpat.