SHERBURNE – Dale and Dar Emme talked about the most painful experience in their lives – their youngest son’s suicide – to Sherburne-Earlville students Tuesday. Dale and Dar travel all over the United States and Canada, speaking to teens about suicide. They have been featured in People Magazine, “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul,” and have appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show. The Emmes are visiting several schools in Chenango County this week to discuss the issue of teen suicide.
“We’re lucky to have them here,” said Lewis Ford of DCMO BOCES. Ford said student response to the Emmes story has been amazing. “The students are unbelievably attentive. [The Emmes] are powerful speakers.” According to Ford, the students respond well to the couple’s program because they don’t approach the topic of suicide from a clinical perspective, but from a personal one.
The S-E auditorium was silent as Dar explained suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers in the United States. “Adults don’t talk about suicide,” Dar told the students, “because they don’t know how.” The Emmes are dedicated to teaching teens how to deal with their emotions, and how to help friends who may be contemplating suicide. “Your voices matter. You can make a difference,” Dar said. She wants teens to know that suicide is about pain, and it is OK to ask for help.
Dale picked up the message where Dar left off, explaining that asking for help does not mean you are weak. “I’ve had tears in my heart, every single day, since I lost my son,” he said. Dale told the students that since his son’s death, he has had to ask for help many times. He said it is important for teens not only to know how to ask for help, but also how to respond when someone asks them for help. The night his son took his own life, he had called six of his friends, but no one knew how to react.
After the death of their son in 1994, the Emmes started the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program in Colorado. Since then, it has expanded to all 50 states and 47 foreign countries. “The program allows everbody’s voices to be heard,” Dar said.
The Emmes passed out cards to the students and teachers in the auditorium. On one side, the card has a picture of a yellow ribbon. It encourages the bearer to present the card if they are ever in need of help. On the other side are instructions for the person who receives the card. “By giving you this card, they’re asking you to be a link for this person to the rest of their life,” Dale said. “If you have received this card, it is a cry for help,” the card reads. It instructs the recipient to stay with the person, listen to them and take them seriously, and to get or call for help immediately. Two phone numbers are listed, one for a local crisis center, and one for the Yellow Ribbon crisis center. Support is also available online at www.yellowribbon.org. “The life you save, could be that of your best friend,” Dale said.
The Emmes encourage students to share this card with their parents immediately, so they know how to respond if there is ever a crisis in the future. “Help us teach your parents what to do if you ever need to go to them in a crisis,” Dale said.
Dale and Dar travel the country at least three weeks of every month, spreading their message to teen-agers. Over 10 million yellow ribbon cards have been distributed nation wide, and thousands more are printed every day. Dar and Dale ended the presentation with a request. Dar told the students that she cared about each and every one of them. She said her son was in pain, and did not know how to deal with it. “If you’re ever at such a point of pain in your life, please, ask for help,” she said.
The Emmes encouraged students to stay after the assembly if they wanted or needed to talk to them. When the audience was dismissed, a crowd surrounded the couple.