I’m a procrastinator by nature and I’m always running late, so when I ran out of gas on Friday, putting me even further behind in my already chaotic schedule, I’ll admit, I was a little peeved. I know most people would think I was to blame for this occurrence, which made me stressed out on an already stressful day, but it’s simply not true. Those who should be held responsible are automobile makers, gas cans and gas stations everywhere.

If I were still on my frivolous lawsuit kick, I would sue all three entities and collect millions of dollars that would be awarded to me for my pain, suffering and mental anguish. However, since I’m sure I’ll be quite cozy living off the settlement that I will no doubt receive from the lawsuit I discussed last week, I guess that won’t be necessary, but it is obvious that I was set up for failure.