Editor’s Note: Chenango County’s favorite best-selling author Maggie Shayne has joined the ranks of Evening Sun contributors with an advice column that’s just a tad different than ‘Dear Abby.’
Whether it’s relationship guidance, tips on modern romance or just throwing her two cents in, Maggie’s got an answer for everything in “Shayne on You.”

Dear Maggie,
I have a friend who is 33, tall, thin single mom.  She had been in a relationship for 5 years when she found out he cheated on her by finding someone locally online.  Obviously they broke up and both she and her son were extremely upset over this.  He is not the boy’s biological father, but had become a definite father figure.  Mr. Jerk moved away because my friend (let’s call her Ariel) couldn’t forgive him and he said he needed to “find himself.” The only problem is that Ariel has not been able to meet a new man worth anything over the last 2 yrs.  Even though time has semi-healed the wounds, she knows she still loves Mr. Jerk.  Well, Mr. Jerk emailed her out of the blue and says he thinks of her often and would like to “be friends.”  Ariel has corresponded with him and said that she’s forgiven him, but that she does still care about him and doesn’t think she can handle being friends after all that has happened.  She’s afraid that she’ll open herself up to more hurt if she lets him into her life at all.  Mr. Jerk has told her he’ll take it slow, but doesn’t want to lose her friendship and Ariel continues to email him.  All red flags are up, and I think she knows to be careful.  But Mr. Jerk is coming into town this weekend and has requested to see her.  She said yes, and I worry that she’s going to get in over her head.  Do you think she still needs some kind of closure?  Or is she just playing with fire and is bound to get burned?
Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned,
My advice to you is to stay out of this and let your friend do what she feels is best for her. If you value the friendship tell her it’s her decision and you’ll support her no matter what. That’s what unconditional love is about. We need more of it. (I know I do.)
My advice to her (if she asked) would be to take a good look at how she feels. If she hasn’t found another man in two years, it’s not because there are no good ones out there. It’s because she’s blocking them out of her life and out of her heart. My guess would be she still loves her Mr. Jerk, and until that relationship is settled for her, one way or another, she’s never going to get past it.
And who knows? Maybe Mr. Jerk made a mistake he regrets, realizes what he lost, and wants to try again. Don’t judge him. We all mess up sometimes. He could be the love of her life. He could be her biggest mistake. But my gut feeling is, she isn’t done with him yet, and she won’t get over him until she is.
Maggie

Do you have a question for Maggie?
E-mail her at mshayne@evesun.com.
And she’ll answer it in a future column!
(All letters are anonymous)