SHERBURNE – Randy Hill says telling jokes is a big part of his job.
He’s not a stand-up comedian. But Randy says he’s got to have a few laughs if he’s going to pump out septic tanks every day.
And when inspiration like this comes by the gallon, the disgusting and painfully obvious one-liners come by the thousands.
“I’ve heard them all,” the eight-year pumper man from Adsit’s Septic and Grading claims. “I’ve made up half of them myself.”
After sucking and back-flowing my first residential septic system, I too welcomed the healing power of comic relief.
But in all seriousness, Randy thinks laughter might be the difference between success and failure in this business.
“You’ve got to have fun,” Randy said. “Otherwise, it might be too hard sometimes to be out here doing this.”
But being the septic guy isn’t so tough, he admits. For starters, being on his own all day – because no one else really wants to be his work partner for more than a few hours – is pretty sweet. Plus the Smyrna resident claims he’s got a great boss in owner Robert Adsit (you owe me for that, Randy). It doesn’t hurt that he likes his job, too.
“Everyone has their niche,” Randy said. “I guess this is mine.”
It wasn’t always. Randy used to drive truck across the country, but says that took its toll on his family and his well-being. Eventually, it came time for a change.
“But trust me, I never thought I’d be the @#&$ man,” he said.
I spent an afternoon riding around with him in the Adsit’s 3,000 gallon septic truck (what Randy’s family calls the “Honey Wagon”), and I have to agree with him; it wasn’t so bad.
The key to the job, Randy believes, and any job for that matter, is a good attitude.
“It’s all about mind over matter, taking on a job and doing it to the best of your ability,” he said. “No matter what, you do the best you can – you have to. Because somebody has to do this. It has to get done. So it’s really about perseverance.”
It’s also about copious amounts of industrial hand sanitizer and scheduled hepatitis vaccinations, too, because when the only thing between you and a 1,000-gallon load of free-flowing “that’s not walnut brownie batter” is a pair of heavy-duty rubber gloves, you can’t ever be too careful.
You can’t ever be in too good of physical shape, either. Yeah, I’ve made my day on the Honey Wagon sound like a barrel of laughs, but it was hard work – keeping a grip on that tanker hose when it’s sucking at full bore was the best and, admittedly, the first workout I’ve had in years. Not to mention this job forces you to push a little harder (there’s that extra incentive not to get any on you or others, so you dig deeper than you normally might, because letting go isn’t an option).
Randy says it gets easier as time goes by. You get used to the physical demands. You also get used to the smell – and the occasional back splash.
The real reward for Randy is helping his customers and knowing he provides them an absolutely essential service, no matter how dirty (and just a reminder, it’s not dirt) the job is.
“People depend on you, more than some realize,” he said. “And you meet so many people and they are grateful, because you really are helping them.”
Fun facts about Septic tanks:
• Don’t flush or pour bleach or ammonia into a septic tank. It kills bacteria, which is an essential part of chemical breakdown that’s vital to keeping your tank in top condition.
• If you’re wondering where your septic tank is, wait until the winter, and there should be an outline melted in the snow in your yard where the manhole cover is buried (P.S. if you need to find the tank to have it pumped out, it’s cheaper to dig the hole to it yourself. Most places charge extra).
• Don’t flush any non-waste items down the toilet that you wouldn’t want the septic person to see, because they’ll see it.