NORWICH – As the population ages, more elders and their loved ones are reaching a crossroads.
They’re faced with questions about health care, safety, independence and money – questions that don’t have easy answers.
Just talking about these issues can sometimes be the hardest part, representatives from the Dispute Resolution Center of Chenango, Delaware and Otsego counties say.
“Older adults and their families are increasingly involved with inter-generational decisions, dependencies, and disputes,” said Donna Kankiewicz, head of volunteer support and development with Dispute Resolution, last week. “Familiar issues may be related to dignity, health, well-being, autonomy, identity, socialization, safety, self-determination and relationships. Changes in living arrangements and health care providers may require difficult decision making.”
To help open up dialogue between families, the Dispute Resolution Center is looking to start an Elder Mediation and Dialogue program, where seniors and their families can bring challenges, concerns and disagreements to the discussion table.
“Siblings, partners, and children may be involved in differences of opinion regarding these decisions. The stress of these conflicts can compromise and damage important family relationships,” Kankiewicz said. “Elder mediation and dialogue are effective processes for assisting family members through life transition decisions.”
Still in the planning stages, recently the center brought together around 30 community members associated with seniors and elder services. The goal: Gather their input on what issues and considerations should be made when implementing the mediation program.
The program, set begin with training in June, is looking for volunteers to become trained mediators.
The debate discussed a range of topics, from fraud to neighborhood disputes between new and old residents. After roughly an hour of discussion, local experts and resolution coordinators made it clear that there are some issues – mostly those that relate to crimes – that can’t be fixed though mediation talks.
However, several local experts believe the program could be effective in helping families work out issues related to health-care, living arrangements and estate-planning.
What is mediation? It’s where a neutral party, known as a mediator, assists parties in reaching a voluntary, negotiated agreement.
In this program, professional mediators at the Dispute Resolution Center would handle each case, and hopefully “empower” parties to develop win-win solutions, Kankiewicz said. The rulings are not handed down by a judge or part of any court proceeding. Participants, who volunteer to cooperate, develop and agree on solutions together.
The center already contracts with the state’s unified court system to resolve family court and small claims court cases. The service is free of charge.
Deb Sanderson, director of the Chenango County Area Agency on Aging, said financial exploitation of seniors by strangers and family members is a widespread problem. She’s not sure if mediation could help, but group forums, like the one attended last week, could be good starting points for addressing senior-related issues.
“How do we deal with the difficulty of sorting through these issues?” Sanderson asked. “I see this as a point where we can start.”
Others saw it as a resource for families to handle issues related to death and dying.
Mediation is also a way for parties to learn how to put personal feelings aside, Kankiewicz said, and come up with best possible solution.
“It’s a way to find out what the real issue is,” she said.
For more information, contact the Dispute Resolution Center at 336-1981.