Dear Maggie,

I hope my problem doesn’t seem too trivial for your column. It really isn’t that big a deal. But the thing is, I can’t cook. I can’t cook. I can’t cook. I try, I really do. But everything is either burned to a crisp or served up half raw. My cakes collapse. My meats dry out. My eggs are either runny or hard. I just can’t cook. My new husband’s mom is the best cook I’ve ever met. He’s used to having great meals. We’ve been married three months and he’s lost ten pounds. Help!

Signed,

Kitchen-Nightmare

Dear Nightmare,

No problem is trivial, especially not one that has you so upset that I’m betting you’ve shed tears over it. Would I be wrong? No, I didn’t think so.