I’ve always been more than a little confused by people who adamantly refuse to admit regret. I’m sure everyone has heard something to this effect at least once or twice before, I know I have. In fact, a close friend of mine, visiting from California, remains convinced (following a lengthy discussion) that living such a life, without regret, is not only possible but exactly how he lives from day to day. Then again, as a cancer survivor, maybe he’s right. For me, however, let’s just say I’ve just never been able to do so.
No, I’ll be the first to admit that I do have my regrets, gathered over a lifetime of mistakes and due, at times, to circumstances beyond my control. These regrets vary widely in scope, from the smallest imaginable all the way up to those life-changing decisions which crop up from time to time. Sometimes it’s something as small as wishing I’d never sold that guitar, or never told that little white lie, which never truly hurt anyone but still rankles when recalled. Other times, well, I’m not going to go into details, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve, sadly, said and done things I wish I could take back in hindsight. I suppose I’ve always felt that life just naturally works that way.
The problem with old regrets, if you let them consume you, is that they really can’t be fixed. As we’ve yet to invent time travel, there’s simply no way to magically go back and repair the damage our mistakes, big or small, inevitably cause. And in all honesty, I don’t think I’d want to. Every single decision I’ve made in the past, from the most mundane to the most personally earth-shattering, has led me to where I am, who I am. I’d like to believe there is a balance there, and a lesson. Better to avoid letting your regrets rule oneself (that path leads to fear, anger and depression, which ultimately leads to the Dark Side as we all know) and instead try to learn from my past mistakes.
What I found truly inspiring during my discussion with my friend – the fact that we can avoid future regrets by examining ourselves, our personal situations and living accordingly. For example, a person who knowingly indulges in an unhealthy lifestyle is, in most cases I would think, going to regret it down the road. Changing such a lifestyle may be difficult in the long run, but deep down I think everyone understands the consequences if the decision to make such a change is ignored. Obviously I’m not one to talk here, as I have my own personal share of bad habits, but it’s something to think on.
Over the years, I’ve learned that wisdom can be found in the strangest of places. In the 2009 motion picture “Fanboys” (a comedy and tribute to all things Star Wars), Dan Fogler, as Harold “Hutch” Hutchinson, compares his friend Eric’s personal troubles to Luke Skywalker’s destruction of the Death Star, which he considers the young Jedi Knight’s greatest achievement.
According to Hutch, everyone, at some point in their life, must overcome their own personal “Death Star,” and I couldn’t agree more. Living with, and accepting, my own regrets has been an epic battle for me at times. I’ve come to accept the fact that my past is simply that, my past. I can’t change it, so why try. Instead, I think I’d rather concentrate on my future, on what tomorrow may bring.
So while I don’t think it’s in me to live a life with no regrets, I do think it’s in my best interests, in all our best interests really, to try and accept them. It’s important to realize, even though it’s been said a thousand times, that nobody’s perfect. With Thanksgiving and the holidays upon us, such a lesson is invaluable. If we can learn to forgive ourselves, and each other, I think we’ll find the world to be a much better place. For an opportunity such as that, I’m thankful.

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