These days, it seems, we have an inordinate number of individuals, organizations, cults, establishments and rebel alliances convinced of the imminent end-of-days they’re certain we are bound to suffer in the coming weeks, months, years, decades or centuries ahead. From warnings of global warming and man-made climate change to the threat of nuclear extinction, the apparent biblical warnings we’re constantly receiving and the ever-present dangers of alien invasion and the zombie apocalypse, I’d have to say we’re pretty much doomed at this point – probably sometime around March 15, 2027.
And yes, my selection of the Ides of March as the specific date of our complete and utter demise is directly connected to its historical significance and ancient Rome. I mean really, that particular day didn’t turn out all that peachy for Gaius Julius Caesar, so it’s as good a guess as any if you ask me.
One has to wonder, however, with the reported mass deaths of birds in Louisiana and Arkansas, fish in Australia and cows in Wisconsin, if there’s actually something to these whispered rumors of extinction.
In truth, I kind of doubt it.
And there’s certainly no need to blame something as complicated as climate change or pollution on these mysterious happenings. Take those birds in Louisiana and Arkansas for instance. Isn’t it possible we had a cloaked (and therefore invisible) spaceship hovering in our lower atmosphere, thereby killing hundreds of birds in flight when they mistakenly had a much-too-close encounter?
While I’ll be the first to admit that’s not the most probable hypothesis, I’ve always found it extremely interesting how most people have this innate need to try and explain the unexplainable. Typically with the most unrealistic theory they can conjure up, as well.
Speaking of conjuring, that Criss Angel guy is a perfect example of this, in my opinion. He’d have you believe he can levitate, walk on water, cut himself in half and make luxury vehicles disappear in the blink of an eye. The saddest part is, there’s an ever-growing segment of our population which refuses to accept entertainment as well, entertainment. In their minds, these feats are more than mere illusion. They can’t explain it so they take it at face value.
Now don’t get me wrong, these illusionists are a talented bunch. But I’d like to think that – given a couple million dollars, the support of a television studio and a crew – I could walk on water too. Not that I’d want to. That whole walking-on-water bit has been done before and those shoes are a bit too big to fill, if you know what I mean.
I imagine it’s simply easier for some people to become lost in the illusion, and I can’t say I blame them really. When you’re struggling to pay the bills, feed your family and make ends meet, it becomes a kind of survival method, I would think. That’s why people watch soap operas, buy the tabloids and read their daily horoscopes. In moderation, these things are harmless, and it’s good to take a break from the day-to-day grind once in awhile. In excess, however, they can come to rule one’s life, they’re an addiction, and an unhealthy one at that.
As to the apocalypse, I don’t see why anybody would spend time worrying about it. To put it simply – if and when it comes, you’re not going to be able to do a damn thing to stop it, right? And while the end of the world is no laughing matter, I’d rather go out with a smile. For better or worse, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to unbridled speculation. It’s human nature, I suppose.

Follow me on Twitter .... @evesunbrian