Well, it was an easy day at the office for all those morning meteorologists out there in television land. As in, “Hey, everybody, it’s going to be a hot one out there today ... leave your jackets at home.”
Not to mention socks, pants, shirts and any other unnecessary garments one could think of. As for myself? Unfortunately, since I’ve been spending my days in the courtroom (no comment), the flip-flops, shorts and T-shirt had to stay at home. I’m in my typical dress shirt, long pants (freshly pressed, no less) and necktie.
Needless to say, I envy you all, those of you who are staying cool, at least.
With that said, however, I must admit I’m a little flabbergasted by all the hype and hysteria, and have to wonder if it’s really necessary. I know, I know, it’s hot ... it’s really hot. But a state-of-emergency-type hot?
I’m not so sure.
Consider ... back in the days before central air, people got by just fine. And that’s not to say you shouldn’t take precautions on a hot, sticky Summer Solstice like today, but we – as a nation – have gotten to the point where every little discomfort – no matter how inconsequential – gets turned into, for lack of a better phrase, a Big Deal.
The power goes out? Kids (and adults) go absolutely bonkers.
“No computers! No cable television! No Internet! Oh no!”
Cell phone service disappears? You’d think it was a national crisis.
“Mom, what do I do? How am I going to text George and tell him I don’t know why Frank broke up with Lisa.”
As for today’s (and tomorrow’s, I believe) little heat wave, here’s what the National Weather Service has to say:
1) A heat advisory means that a period of hot temperatures is expected.
OK, I get it. Heat plus advisory means hot.
2) The combination of hot temperatures and high humidity will combine to create a situation in which heat illnesses are possible.
Well, not to belittle heat illnesses (because I do realize they’re serious), but a combination of hot temperatures and high humidity when I was a kid meant it was time to go swimming ... or eat ice cream.
3) Drink plenty of fluids; stay in an air-conditioned room; stay out of the sun; and check up on relatives and neighbors.
Now – for the most part – this one I understand. When it’s hot, drink lots of water (a no-brainer, one would think). Air-conditioned room? Don’t have one ... next. Stay out of the sun? Not always an option; drink even more water. Check up on relatives and neighbors? Well, some of us have to work (at least there’s air-conditioning, though) and I don’t know the neighbors’ phone numbers ... and I’m not home, I’m working, remember? As for my relatives, I’m pretty sure they’ll be OK, they’re big boys and girls.
And when was the last time someone checked in on you when it was hot out? Thought so.
Moving on ...
4) Take extra precautions if you work or spend time outside.
Wait a minute, ten seconds ago you said stay out of the sun.
5) Reschedule strenuous activity to early morning or evening.
How about this, just don’t do it, period. Definitely a case of why do today what you can put of until tomorrow if I ever heard one.
6) Know the signs and symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.
Well, I know one of the signs is delirium (not to mention hallucinations), so somehow I doubt I’ll even be aware of any signs or symptoms in the first place.
7) Wear light-weight and loose-fitting clothing when possible and drink plenty of water.
But what if I’m too cold in that air-conditioned room that I don’t have? As for the water thing, didn’t you already say that? Now you’re repeating yourself ... or maybe I’m delusional ... can’t ... think ... straight ...
Regardless, people, it’s a real scorcher out there. Be safe.

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