By Vicky House
Oxford Town/Village Historian
OXFORD – I am sharing this story because I am not only proud and excited that my sister has come back into my life, but that she is recovering from breast cancer. Even though I tried for years to find her, it was the sad news that she developed breast cancer that prompted her to try and find out about her family and medical background.
Any historian will tell you that researching ancestors for people who may or may not have lived in a particular town can be a long, tedious process which may or may not yield results. That ancestor may not have lived in the town you thought they lived in or the spelling of their last name changed. There are many factors that could make searching for ancestors a difficult one. The same could be said when searching for a loved one who was taken away many years ago. Searching for any female member of a family is always difficult because of the name change when they marry.
I knew I had a sister who was taken away almost 50 years ago and now, with today’s technology, that sister has been found. Cindy Dee and I were reunited this past Saturday at our aunt and uncle’s homestead in Afton. We have the same birth mother but different birth fathers and when the family split up, Cindy Dee went with her father. I was eleven years old at the time and given no explanations for Cindy or her father leaving and not coming back.
During the fifteen hour visit, I told Cindy that I remembered the last time I saw her. Cindy was three years old and just came from the kitchen to follow me to the door. With her hand in her mouth and running, she slipped and fell on the hardwood floor. I thought she bit her hand so I went back to see if she was okay – Cindy started to laugh and I turned and walked out the door. I never saw or heard from her again until Saturday. Cindy shared with me her understanding for our leaving and the mixed feelings she had about the split and a possible reunion.
Many years ago, I wrote letters which were delivered by way of a mutual friend, but there was no response. I feared that Cindy never received the letters, but she did and she kept them, but was not ready to respond. Being so young at the time and not fully aware of the reasons behind the break up, made it hard for her to decide if she even wanted to try to find anyone. She confessed that she really didn’t know how many siblings, brothers or sisters, she had. After listening to the story of her childhood and young adult years, it was easy to understand her hesitation.
Years later, Cindy was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer and her doctors needed family history – especially from the female members. Cindy worked many long hours on the internet which included using the letters to find family members. It was Cindy’s desire to find her birth mother first, to do it on her own and see where that leads. After about two weeks of long, hard searching, Cindy found her birth mother and, to her surprise, FOUR sisters who were all living in the same area. One more special surprise awaited her; a brother she never knew. Jeff retired from the United States Marine Corps this past month after 23 years of service and several tours abroad. He had the opportunity to meet with Cindy many times since they live close. Jeff orchestrated the meeting with Cindy and me and, from all indications, the reunion will continue. Cindy was an only child for a good part of her life and now she has four sisters, one brother, a huge extended family and a humongous amount of moral support. As far as Cindy’s breast cancer goes, surgery, chemotherapy and medications along with constant monitoring has the cancer under control.
At one of the photograph sessions, we were all reminded that; ‘this is the first time the siblings have ever been together in one picture’. Another special part of the reunion was when Cindy showed off a quilt she made during her cancer surgery and recovery. The quilt had the family name embroidered down the trunk of a huge family tree with old family photographs hanging near the branches. Cindy is married with a wonderful and very supportive husband; Mark. Together they have a son, Matt; a polite and handsome young man who has shown great interest in his mother’s new found family.
After all the talking, storytelling and meeting new people, it wasn’t until on the way home from the reunion, I realized that I have a new brother-in-law and nephew. Sweeeet!
Today, with the help of the internet, you can find just about anything or anybody. I wish the internet was around back then; maybe it wouldn’t have taken so long for us to ‘find’ each other. My advice is not to give up. It took Cindy approximately 2 weeks to locate her family. Maybe you can find your long, lost family member and not have to wait 50 years like we did.
One final note on trying to find someone goes back to what I said in the beginning about searching for a person who may or may not have lived in a particular town. Cindy informed me that she graduated from the same high school I did only 9 years later. We also lived in the same town and area, went to the same parks and had some of the same friends and didn’t even know it.