Here's my question: Can you starve to death
by not eating for one day?
I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you can't. As a matter of fact, they used to call "not eating for a day" (or longer) fasting, and it was con- sidered a healthy thing to do occasionally, both physically and spiritual- ly. Not the near-death experience it's consid- ered today. People used to fast all the time, and some still do it today.
So why do the store shelves look like they've been ransacked by invading Visigoths when the TV weather crew says a snowstorm is on the way? Do people think they'll starve between Friday and Monday?
Maybe I'm the only one on the planet with this prob- lem, but there is no way I could put a morsel of extra food in our fridge or freezer. And it's not because I won the Powerball, or because I'm an out-of-touch million- aire who spends more money on food than I should. It's because that's what refrigerators and freezers are for: storing food. They are there so we don't have to run to the grocery store every single day, or every time some- thing unexpected happens.
Yes, plenty of people lack full-sized refrigerators and freezers, perhaps due to finances. But that's another issue. What I'm asking is, why does a place catering to people of means -- a store like Whole Foods -- get a run on bread after news of an impending snowstorm? It seems to me that a snowstorm would be a good time to empty out the freezer and the pantry, not cram even more into them.
Wouldn't a big snowstorm be the perfect time bake a loaf of bread with that flour that's been sitting in your cupboard since Christmas, instead of running to the supermarket in a panic? If a storm hits, it's not as if you're going to be going anywhere. It would be the per- fect time to dig something out of the bottom of the freezer and use it before you forget what it is. Isn't this the time to try that new recipe you thought would take too long to make?
Part of this "buy more food" insanity is driven by tel- evision. Weather reporters act as if the falling snow is the Ebola virus mixed with drug-resistant TB. "Snow! It's the worst thing that could happen to you in your entire life!! Why, oh why, didn't we build snow shelters under every house? Whose fault is the snow? The gov- ernor's? The president's? The Democrats'? The Republicans'?"
Look at that brave reporter out in the snow. Why don't they give him a Purple Heart for that? How many other people could do that? I mean, besides little chil- dren out sledding, old ladies waiting for the bus that's already an hour late, and hundreds of thousands of skiers, snowboarders, ice skaters and hockey players. Oh look, the reporter's wearing one of those nice North Face coats. I wish I could afford that.
Every sentence during the weather report seems to end with a double exclamation point. "This could affect 30 million people!!" They make the word "affect" sound like "kill." I think the word they should be using is "inconvenience," with no exclamation point.
Don't they remember longing for snow days when they were children? Do they not remember how beauti- ful snow is? How much fun it is? Yes, it may keep you from getting to work, but so does a traffic jam. So does Washington's birthday. So does a bad cold. Do any of those make you want to run to the closest grocery store and buy all the bread they have?
Instead of panicking, take a look in the fridge. I'm sure you'll find something worth eating.
Contact Jim Mullen at JimMullenBooks.com.